New Donk City
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: It's time for you, big guy, to expand your horizons and dongs as a new city that's totally not New York makes its grand halation in the Mario World! Just remember, a city like this is crazy, since It's The Nutshack. Prepare for high quality chapters that will make you wish you had seven dads from the Empire State Building, because WE ARE NUMBER ONE!
1. New Donk City

_New Donk City... how many people has mistook it for many other cities... like New York City..._

"So, is this where Mario grew up?" Toadette stated as she looked around the city of New Donk within the Metro Kingdom, with her and several others on K. Rool street, placing her hands on her hips. "I could have sworn he came from Brooklyn..."

"Does this look like Brooklyn to you?" Dry Bowser dryly pointed out as he brushed his red hair back. "If anything, this is Manhattan, but then again, with all the Donkey Kong references..."

"Hey guys, am I cool yet!?" Donkey Kong exclaimed from the top of the Empire State Building, swatting planes that had Kritters in them.

"Get that blasted DK!" King K. Rool shouted as he was piloting his own plane, wearing his plane outfit as he began shooting DK with orange grenades.

Donkey Kong pulled out his Coconut Gun, shooting it in spurts, because if it shoots ya, it's gonna hurt. Dry Bowser and Toadette simply stood there and watched, until Dry Bowser decided to go get some coffee in the nearby shop while Toadette farted away in the park, figuratively and literally.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Robbie Rotten exclaimed as he was watching Toadette fart, because he wanted to be villain number one somewhere else besides Lazy Town.

"Yabba dabba do!" Fred Flintstone exclaimed as he was just yabba dabba doing what felt right and having a gay old time in the city of New Donk, speeding away on his two feet as he played high quality rips in his classic prehistoric vehicle and rocking to it, knocking all the modern yellow taxi cabs to the sides from its primal strength.

Watching all this from her office was Pauline, who was the mayor of New Donk City as she shook her head while having her arms folded together, wondering what crazy things would occur in her metropolis.

"Hmm... I wonder if I should have expected this ever since Mario rescued me from Donkey Kong..." Pauline stated to herself as she stretched her arms about. "Now's a good time to get coffee..."


	2. New Donking

Dry Bowser was running from a bunch of angry Chain Chomps in the Fossil Falls area of the prehistoric Cascade Kingdom, crossing across the stone bridge as he chucked several of his bones back at the Chain Chomps in an attempt at getting them off his bony tail.

"Sheesh... these things just don't know when to quit, huh?" Dry Bowser muttered to himself as he shook his head.

Suddenly Dry Bowser stopped right in front of a snoozing Tyrannosaurus Rex, glancing back at the Chain Chomps approaching him as he turned to the T-Rex, a smirk coming onto his face. Dry Bowser began chuckling to himself while rubbing his skeletal hands together

"Oh ho... looks like I found the perfect pet to unleash onto these pests." Dry Bowser said as he quickly climbed onto the sleeping T-Rex's back, tapping the realistic dinosaur on the head as he woke up the T-Rex, who roared loudly as he stomped towards the Chain Chomps, who yelped as they turned around and fleed.

Dry Bowser watched with a confident smirk as the T-Rex munched down on the Chain Chomps proving that they were no longer the biggest threats in Dry Bowser's world. But then he heard the snarl of a Big Chain Chomp behind him, who barked loudly as she chased after Dry Bowser, who went through a portal that led directly into New Donk City.

"I didn't ask for this!" Dry Bowser snapped as he quickly snatched one of the yellow taxi cabs and took off, the Big Chain Chomp knocking the various vehicles to the sides as it followed Dry Bowser's bony scent.

The human citizens of New Donk screamed as they all ran away from the Big Chain Chomp, who was zigzagging across the city in an effort to snatching up Dry Bowser, who was determined to keep away. Just when things couldn't get worse, the taxi was snapped in the air by a T-Rex, who somehow came across the portal as it shook the cab, causing Dry Bowser to fall off and his bones to get separated as a result. Dry Bowser's skull bounced away from his scattered bones as he watched the T-Rex roar at the Big Chain Chomp, who stopped in her tracks as she turned around and began bouncing away, being chased by the much larger predator, with the modern metropolis now needing a lot of money to fix up the property damage done to it.

* * *

"Bing Bing, Wahoo!" Mario exclaimed as he was jum **ping as** usual, you see, going through the city of New Donk in style.

"Whoa, Mario! Slow down!" Cappy laughed as he tried to hang on to Mario's brown hair.

"This is gonna be funny," A Boomerang Bro stated to a Hammer Bro as they were on a skyscraper, watching Mario jump from building to construction zone.

"What are you gonna do?" The Hammer Bro asked as he was juggling his hammer.

The Boomerang Bro smirked as he chucked his boomerang right at Cappy, who Mario had just tossed in an attempt at capturing a bird, only for the boomerang to collide and sent cappy right back to Mario, who then got sucked into Cappy as they both vanished into nothing. The Hammer Bro was left speechless as the Boomerang Bro laughed his ass off at the very feet for which he had just did.

* * *

"And there they go!" A green shelled Lakitu announced as he was watching the New Donkers in their crazy taxis taking off. "No one knows who;s going to take the lead, but boy cn I tell you that it's going to be an exciting race here in New Donk, where things are always ridonkulous and-"

"Is that a plumber jumping on the cabs?" A red shelled Lakitu commented as he spotted Luigi jumping on top of the caps, the two Lakitus glancing at each other in disbelief.

"Hey, I can have fun with my jumping skills too!" Luigi exclaimed, only to lose control of his flutter as he fell on the road and got flattened by the speeding taxi cabs, breaking his bones in the process.


	3. Infinite Possibilities

"Rolling around at the speed of sound..." Sonic The Hedgehog sung to himself as he was doing exactly that, passing by the human beings that were the New Donkers as suddenly everything turned red, with people, objects, and buildings being distorted as the blue hedgehog gawked in disbelief. "Agh! What the? What's going on?"

"Humph. Pathetic," The jackal with infinite power called Infinite ( _how original_ ) stated as he suddenly floated right in front of Sonic, his right hand on his mask since no one cared who he was until he put on the mask. "The fastest thing alive... can't even get out of gravity."

"...If I pull that off, will you die?" A random white New Donker male with blonde hair asked as he squinted his eyes.

"It will be... extremely painful," Infinite stated as he then chucked the human man high into the distorted red sky of darkness.

"You're a big jerk," A New Donker black girl shouted as she was then force choked by Infinite.

"For you, perhaps." Infinite stated as he began laughing, proceeding to terrorize the city of New Donk to his endlessly evil pleasure.

* * *

Arceus hummed the Jump Up Superstar theme to himself as he calmly was playing a round of chess with himself in one of the remote corners of New Donk City, using his psychic mind to move the opposite black pieces. A female Sigilyph then approached him, flapping her wings above the air as there were several disjointed red girders sticking out of the landmass for which Arceus was resting on, with there being various wild Pokemon in the background jumping around the girders populating the city's bustling skyline consisting of them and modern skyscrapers.

"Sir, are you going to do anything about the wild Pokemon roaming around the city?" The female Sigilyph asked as she blinked, being concerned in spite of her facial expressions not exactly being clear about it. "The mayor won't like it..."

Arceus shifted his head to the female Sigilyph, shaking his head in response as several small yellow butterflies flapped by his face, the pedals from the countless colorful flowers passing by his llama shaped body. "Not really. I don't think Pauline would mind one bit. What's the rush? Just because we're in a city doesn't mean we have to go fast all the time. Learn to take things slow."

"...Well, the Pokemon I mentioned attacking." The female Sigilyph commented as she continued flapping her yellow wings. "If we don't do something soon, things may get more violent..."

Arceus closed his eyes as he sighed. "Well, it's not like this story is exactly lacking in action... or content, so to speak."

"But sir...! A-aren't you concerned?" The female Sigilyph continued, being worried as she began flapping her wings faster. "Don't you think that things may be taken a bit too far?"

"...Nah. It don't matter." Arceus stated as a gaggle of different Pokemon all suddenly jumped and attacked him, the Pokemon God using his godlike powers to make them faint in an instant as he opened his eyes. "None of this matters."

* * *

Waluigi was in his humble apartment in New Donk City, with it being a rainy night in the bustling modern city of donking as he was watching old classic movies set in New York City, munching on popcorn as he had all sorts of sports equipment surrounding him on his walls and furniture, with most of the room being colored purple.

"Man, this reminds me of the time I was in Manhattan..." Waluigi stated as he was noticing a particular scene involving a taxi cab chase.

Just as Waluigi was about to think back, suddenly a washing machine appeared out of the fabric of time and space within his apartment. Waluigi squinted his eyes as he approached the bizarre washing machine, with it opening up and spouting out the Rabbids, who all landed right on top of the tall lanky purple man. Waluigi groaned as he squinted his eyes, looking around him as he clenched his fists.

"What are you doing in my apartment?" Waluigi snapped as he grabbed his purple tennis racket and began smashing the Rabbids, his rage having suddenly popped up.

"Wait, hold on, stop!" A Rabbid in a black top hat with a monocle spoke up using a British accent as he waved his rabbit hands. "We Rabbids mean no harm! We just came from a treacherous trip through the space time continuum!"

"...Wah?" Waluigi commented in confusion as he tilted his head in confusion, with the other Rabbids all laughing as they started shouting 'Bwah'.

Suddenly the apartment began to break apart, with Waluigi in disarray as the Rabbids all fled, the entire building coming down. Emerging out of the rubble, Waluigi looked on to see the Rabbids wreaking havoc in the city, jumping and climbing across the countless construction girders as they were all laughing maniacally, enjoying the chaos they were making from their general presence.


	4. Dashing In The Rain

"Why is this city so packed with cars?" A red shelled Koopa asked while racing with different shelled Koopa Troopas as they were going through the rainy city of New Donk at night.

"I'm more concerned about the tanks!" The blue Koopa responded as he was then blasted, being reduced to a pile of ash with his blue shell falling on top.

"We lost yet another member..." The green Koopa sighed as he adjusted his cap after bouncing on the giant spring button ahead. "Perhaps we should have gotten more protection on our shells."

"Less mourning, more running!" The gold Koopa exclaimed as his mostly yellow turtle body was illuminating the dark wet buildings, being the fastest of the bunch due to his shiny sparkles surrounding him.


End file.
